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Her Name is Ed Wilson

Thoughts, Anyone?

Since I’m bored and have a small break right now. I thought I’d dedicate a post to the top 5 most annoying relationship sagas on television.sarahsarah

However, I say mine stands out because it’s focusing only on the guys, who’ve been stampeded by their female “succubi.”

Honestly, I don’t really watch a whole lot of TV per say, I usually watch series when they are out as a dvd collection or on my sister’s Netflix instant service. But recently, I’ve started watching Chuck and  it’s so adorable and over-the-top endearing that I had to watch the previous two seasons. Now it’s one of my favorite shows. It’s funny, quippy, and has a great cast of primary characters, BUT and it’s a big BUT the only thing I cannot stand is the Chuck-Sarah never ending saga which is what got me interested in writing this post. As an aside, there maybe SPOILERS in this post so please be aware of that.

5. Chuck Bartowski and Sarah Walker


Where do we begin? Chuck the geeky super-spy has an unyeilding crush for Sarah the mysterious overtly secretive super CIA agent.  At first the relationship was strictly business, but after some saliva swapping at the conclusion of season 1, they have been in this suspended self-torture in relationship purgatory.

Throughout the seasons, viewers are manipulated several times with Sarah’s boyfriend returning from the dead and stealing her away from his former college roommate. Then we have Chuck’s girl friend coming from seemingly the abyss, who turns out to be a Femme-Fatale Fulcrum Agent. Finally, we have Cole Barker an espionage action-man (also known as Beefcake) who’s sincere advances are shot down, why because she loves Chuck but she cant be with Chuck? And through it all we get to see episode after episode with both characters coming to an epiphany about how they can’t be together and then in the next we see them holding hands at a Jeffster jam session! Then they breakup and they get back together then they breakup and they get back together thentheybreakupandtheygetbacktogether…Hopefully, you understand where I am going with this. It hurts me to see Sarah basically control Chuck’s life. She’s professed on every occassion that she must protect him, despite how crazy she’s driving the poor guy. If she really wanted to keep him safe at this point she would let another agent take over her position. But of course, that would remove all the gooey awesomecool drama.  For me however, as a self-professed geek, there only so many times I can endure watching Sarah blow off Chucks feelings.

4. Leela and Fry

Okay, I know Fry can be well, let’s just say …well stupid.

But any true fan of Futurama knows that behind that glazed over expression is a man who is passionate about his alien temptress. How many times has Fry gone down for the count for Leela? Oh let me count the ways, he’s gone toe-to-toe with a psychotic robot to discover the just the right message on some of those chalky,festive, candy heart chewables. He gave his last bit of oxygen to Leela when her tank was in the red. He brushes up on his Holophonor skills to impress Leela with his newly  implanted superior intellect. And how does Leela thank him, you ask? She demands that he returns to the normal Fry because she loves who he really is….yeah, right? What happens when Fry loses his brainy personality, he’s moved back into the “just friends” zone where he began. Let’s not even open the whole Zaff Branigan can of worms…

3. Lindsay Weir and Nick Andopolis

I loved this show, because I was impressed that they featured a serious female character to anchor this “growing pains” dramedy. Perhaps, that’s why it failed…Even now Judd Apatow hasn’t made a feature comedy starring a female. Maybe, this show has left a bad taste in his mouth… dunno.

Anyway, Lindsay Weir was one of my greatest influences when I was in high school (and Shannon Sossamon). She is bright, clever, and insightful, but along comes Daniel and she becomes a goo-goo faced doppelganger of her former self: vacillating, self-conscious, and vulnerable. Essentially, what I think we all are in love. This would be just dandy of course if she wasn’t trying to trample all over Nick Andopolis. Lindsay knew for several episodes that Nick had strong affections for her, so at one point she told herself, “Alright. Let’s test drive this Nick and see where it goes.” Of course Nick, wasn’t aware of their relationship being only a dry run. Then she breaks it off with him when she knew from the start that Nick wasn’t really what she wanted. So the viewer is treated with episodes of Nick making a sad fool out of himself. He’d write lovelorn compositions and the like. Maybe, that’s what made the show feel true to life (people being used because they’re convenient), but for me it made me wish she would go pine over Desario some more.


2. Dexter and Rita

There are no words to explain how much I could not stand Rita. Dexter is a serial killer and I still had more esteem for who he was than I ever did her. To me, Rita is the kind of girl who if you didn’t call immediately after a date or check-in every 3 hours she’s going to assume the worst. She’s going to go into some kind of angry rage about why you were buying coffee instead of picking-up the kids. When she met Dexter she had already decided he would be the father figure in her children’s lives. I know Rita has a lot of fans so I’m not going to eviscerate her, but because of her all I can ever enjoy of Dexter is season 2.  In fact, it’s the only one I’ve watched beginning to end. The best head-buttin’ season there is!

Plus,  Lila + Dexter 4  life.

And of course, everyone saw this one coming…

1. Jack Shepherd and Kate Austen

So, it is coming to the most hated TV couple (on shows that matter) in any series. Yes, Jack and Kate. You can be Jaters, Skaters, or even Suliet lovers, but we can all agree on is our loathsome passion for these two doves. In the beginning Jack and Kate were two interesting characters whose whole purpose on the show didn’t hinge upon whether they had the hots for each other. Boy has that changed.  Even now, going into its final season, viewers are treated with triangles that started with Jack, Kate, and Sawyer and then Jack, Kate, and Juliet. Worse now are the quadrangle starring Jack, Kate, Juliet, and Sawyer. When will it end. The answer is…it won’t. I became relieved when Anna Lucia entered the picture. The feisty cop offered Jack a drink at the airport and forced him to notice her advances. I said to myself, “Great! That’s exactly what Jack needs. Someone who isn’t Kate.” And then Michael takes care of that “loose end” ensuring that we will forever remain in the 11th circle of hell and witness Jack over and over again being DENIED.  DENIED on the island. DENIED off the island. Just friggin’ DENIED…the show hasn’t ended yet, but If I were to take a guess on how this would all conclude. I would bet my money on no one getting the girl in the end.

but until then, these two will forever be attached like “j” and “k” on the qwerty board.

-e.d.w.

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